Jan 22, 2021 | Do The Hard Thing, Encouragement, Enough, Permission Granted |
Dec 8, 2020 | Be you, Encouragement, Enough |
Hey, skinny jeans.
I know that you have
felt my absence.
It’s nothing personal…
I still like you.
I also like breathing.
Things have changed
in the last 10 months
and what was once
‘fit like a glove’
is now painful contortion.
It’s not you.
It’s me.
You can’t encompass
the results of
my coping mechanisms.
Netflix,
ice cream,
sitting in a chair and writing,
watching movies with the kids,
and lots of snacks, and not an
equal amount of walks,
have been my regulars.
It would be unfair
to us both
to ask you to
hold all of me.
I should tell you,
I don’t feel badly
when I pass you over
each day.
I don’t feel guilt or shame
that my curves no longer fit
within your seams.
You require that I be less,
but I am more.
I’ve changed.
I am stronger than I’ve ever been before.
I’ve seen more and felt more.
I’ve hurt more.
I am softer.
I am more reliant.
I need more than I thought.
I need less than I thought.
A paradox like the rest of life.
Skinny jeans –
It’s not you,
it’s me.
You ask me to be less,
but I am more.
#PermissionGranted
Aug 6, 2020 | Encouragement, Enough |
You are
worried
overwhelmed
anxious.
Me too.
I am
really trying
to be there
for you –
to be what you need
even though it’s
not my role to fill.
Still.
When there are
tears –
I want to fix it
as if it’s blood,
not salt.
When you have a
hard question,
I want an answer
like I want breath.
When you feel
like you are
coming undone
I want to
stitch it all up
and make
your world
cozy again.
The thing is
I don’t have
the fix,
the answers,
and I can’t mend myself
or you.
Let’s lean in together.
Let’s lead
each other to peace.
Let’s rely on the
strength that’s
the same
yesterday,
today,
forever.
This is the
best thing
I can do for you,
for me.
#PermissionGranted
Mar 25, 2020 | Do The Hard Thing, Enough |
It’s always been true.
I am not what I do.
I am not the sum of
what I check off
on the to-do list.
I’ve always believed that,
even if sometimes I’ve
not acted like it.
And I am struggling
to remember.
Here in this time.
Here in this space.
I am not what I do.
I am not what I accomplish
in a day.
I am more than
what my house
looks like.
I am above and beyond
what is for dinner.
I am still a creative person
even if I can’t seem
to start something
new right now.
I may not come out
on the other side
of this having
checked off boxes
on my quarantine
bucket list.
I’m in some sort of
wrestling match.
I want to do more
and yet
I’m struggling
to remember
what is true.
Here in this time.
Here in this space.
I need to
remember who I am,
remember my roots,
remember what centers me,
who holds my hand.
I need to
dig deep.
Show up
for my family
and friends.
All I need to do
is be present.
That’s it –
still means I’ve got
to dig deep.
I will show up.
#PermissionGranted
Nov 27, 2019 | Encouragement, Enough, Faith |
She decides between coffee or
a small supply of the kids’ favorite cereal.
It’s one or the other on her budget.
The cereal wins because it is
about more than just cereal.
It’s a reminder of
normalcy.
It’s a reminder to the kids
that she remembers.
It is a small way to
introduce a bit of joy
and she will make whatever
sacrifice is necessary
to do just that.
She doesn’t have the
time or energy
to keep count –
but this is a regular thing for her.
Choices.
This or that.
She would love a cup of coffee
right now to get her through
the long night ahead
as her second job begins.
She pushes back
the fear,
the worry,
for if she allowed it
room it would run through her
spare energy resources
in 60 minutes flat.
And then,
where would she be?
A thought creeps in but she
speaks to it and tells it
to go away.
She shakes her head to
get free of it.
There’s no time to address
the gaping wounds in her heart
that bleed so easily.
So she chases the
memory away.
It is what it is.
Dreams are a luxury and
her sleep,
her awake
her sorrow
her joy
her energy
is for her boys.
Her every minute is
meet the needs.
Her job is survival.
She sorts through
the bills in the mail
as she logs into the
customer service website.
An envelope that isn’t a bill
sorts itself from the stack.
She rips it open to
discover a card,
and a gift card
to her local
grocery store.
There’s no name.
No one to thank
or feel indebted to.
Just provision.
A deep breath –
just what she needs.
And maybe, just maybe,
some coffee.
#PermissionGranted
Are you in the midst of a long night? Reach out – you don’t have to do it alone. Allow others to help you take up your space – to be all that you can be.
Are you in a place where you can leverage where you are to make someone else’s burden lighter? Step into that. Do it for the right reasons and be an encouragement to others.
Oct 30, 2019 | Encouragement, Enough, Faith, Trust |
Please unpack your lunch.
Put your shoes away.
I love you.
Please put your clothes in the dirty clothes hamper.
Use kind words.
Your family matters most.
Please tie your shoes.
Don’t mess with your sister!
Leave your brother alone!
Jesus loves you more than I do.
These are a sampling of the
reminders I say to my kids
a few times a day,
okay, well, maybe more than a few –
just depends on the day!
Can I be honest?
It can be frustrating
to have to repeat
myself over and over
and I can’t help but think –
If they would just listen….
And yet – I am like them.
I need daily reminders.
Your words matter.
You have a purpose.
God loves you.
You are enough –
but you can’t do it all.
You can rest in God’s provision.
You can let that go.
I forget.
I get distracted.
I get overwhelmed.
I get focused on what
I wish would change.
I need the reminders
that come through
a song,
a flower,
a leaf,
a bird,
a friend,
scripture,
my family.
I’m working hard to be
a better listener but
keep the reminders coming.
Show and tell me
what I forget,
what doubt taints,
and lies discolor.
I need the reminders
of what is true.
#PermissionGranted
