Veil of fog

Veil of fog

Fog.

Thick, real.

Joy and hope

play a game

of hide and seek

I did not ask

to participate in.

The future holds

question marks –

so many unknowns…

The fog

clouds vision,

tangles emotion,

and I just want to

hibernate.

The swath

of clouds hangs

over every area of life

and I wonder

if this veil will

lift and what life

will look like

when it does.

Where is the sun?

Has the fog

smothered hope?

I look down

to see there’s

a rope in my hand.

I am tethered.

I am not lost

to the fog.

I will cling

to what is

holding me.

 

#PermissionGranted

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

See the miracles

See the miracles

The sun shines on my back

while the moon’s glow

lights up my face.

It is still daytime

but the moon

arrived early.

I love it when

the moon appears

in the sky at the same

time as the sun.

It’s two miracles at once.

The sun to grow life.

the moon to

light up the

darkness.

There is light

no matter which

way I am facing.

I am covered

no matter

which way I

orient myself.

I am surrounded by

care and provision

and I am

overwhelmed by love.

And this,

this is the

third miracle.

#PermissionGranted

Lies cannot sustain.

Lies cannot sustain.

Lethargy is in her veins.

She is slow to feel,

slow to dream,

slow to fight.

She feels unsure in

every space,

unsure if she wants

to be seen

or if she wants

to be in the shadows.

She delays decisions

until they are

made for her.

Blooming is

left to

others

with more beauty

and talent.

Her plainness

disqualifies her.

Her hunger for more

no longer registers.

She just

moves

more

s l o w l y.

The billboards educate,

the lyrics choreograph,

the movies script

the pathways in

her brain

and

she’s too bone-weary

to fight.

She just goes through the motions,

does what is expected of her.

Lies are what sustains her,

but she can’t find a pulse.

#PermissionGranted

…to seek sustenance from truth.

Hush, fear of failure, hush.

Hush, fear of failure, hush.

My friend invited me to go on a hike on New Year’s Day.

I informed her I was not in shape for a hike that she would take and she informed me that she was going for a run on her own prior to the hike.

In other words, the hike was her cool down – I should be good.

I was still worried that my heart was going to beat out of my chest at the peak of the hike.

I just didn’t think I was going to be able to hang.

I didn’t want it to look like I couldn’t handle it…

I didn’t want to have to stop for a break.

I was afraid that I would be sore the next day.

It was also going to be a cold morning.

But I went.

And you know what? The challenge was good for me.

I am stronger than I thought.

I huffed and puffed a few times but it felt good.

I am capable of hard things.

It’s my mind that limits what’s possible.

It’s my fear of failure that says no.

It’s me that can talk me out of anything.

And the 3.2 mile hike on uneven ground at funky angles gave me a thirst for more challenge.

Who is this girl?

It was a great way to start the new year.

I want to pursue things that make me wonder, “Am I am up for this?”

I want to welcome opportunities that include a risk of failure.

“Where is Bethany and what have you done with her?”

I know that what I attempt will not be within my own power.

I can do hard things.

Please remind me of this in a few months…

No, really I mean it.

#PermissionGranted

Bravery is not a guarantee

Bravery is not a guarantee

Bravery is not a guarantee.

Bravery is not a trade for

the outcome you desire.

Bravery is just the 

next step you take. 

We don’t know what is

around the corner

but the next step

must still be taken.

It is an exercise in trust,

but don’t forget – 

you’re in good hands.

 

Bravery,

in the company of fear,

hope, and trust

is the engine to take you to 

where you are supposed to be.

Some days will be hard and you

will be tempted to believe that bravery 

has been overtaken by fear.

Fear is just the reminder 

that you can’t do life alone. 

Fear is just a warning bell 

that you are relying too much

on yourself. 

It’s time to trust and put fear in its place.

Bravery, 

is a lot of small steps – 

not giant leaps. 

Small steps forward,

are steps in the right direction

and don’t be tempted to 

even think they don’t count. 

We can celebrate the little wins

and use those to build courage. 

The fails?

Those are our guardrails

to help keep us on the 

path we are supposed to be on. 

There are no guarantees…

except that 

bravery equals growth. 

#PermissionGranted

 

Moments with and

Moments with and

The end of a full day

leaves her with a 

slight headache, 

achy body, 

full heart,

a few regrets, and

a few wins —

and there’s still more to do.

It’s one of those nights, 

when she doesn’t know 

whether to keep 

pushing through

or 

call it enough. 

A bath sounds great

and so does 

finishing up

one 

last

thing…

so that tomorrow 

won’t be as full,

so that, maybe, 

she won’t go to bed with a

the regret/headache combo.

In her fuzzy mind

an idea plows through

the fog.

Why not do both?

A bath and take the computer with her?

Cake and eat it, too!?

Is it necessary to choose, tonight?

Is tonight the night for

and

instead of 

or?

The lavender scent,

the warm water, 

and her work, 

draw her to the tub.

And then a wave of thought

crashes against her mind…

are there other moments

in her life that are

and instead of or?

Has she put limits 

where limits don’t exist?

Work or family.

What if it is 

work and family?

Giving or receiving.

What if it is

giving and receiving?

Strong or teachable –

what if the right answer

is strong and teachable?

Grace or accountability.

What if the proper way of this

being lived out is

grace and accountability?

Maybe there’s been too many

either-this-or-that in her life. 

Maybe it’s time for more and.

#PermissionGranted