Jun 12, 2020 | Becoming, Community, Do The Hard Thing |
but just trust me on this one.
I am just a little shadow
but please note from the picture
that I also have a stage.
on our own individual stages
but please pace yourself.
Your stage may be leading
your kids to understand bias.
Your stage may be leading a
book club to discuss a book on antiracism.
Or perhaps you dive in and unlearn
and share what you are learning anew.
Don’t forget what you feel.
Don’t forget you have a stage.
May 28, 2020 | Community |
Sweet, little toes.
Precious nose.
Chubby cheeks.
First steps.
Belly laughs.
ABCs and 123s.
Strong legs run fast.
Make-me-laugh antics.
Off to kindergarten.
Discovers Spiderman.
Makes new friends wherever he goes.
He loves any and every kind of sport that includes a ball.
(Black boys only play basketball and football.)
He graduates to middle school and embraces strong opinions and loud music.
(Why is that bass so loud? What a bunch of disrespectful kids.)
Hugs, belches, and debates are commonplace.
(He is too boisterous for his own good.)
Eighth grade is a beast that he conquers and is also the year of his first crush.
(My daughter is off-limits to your affections.)
High school is here and it is a busy life with games, events, lessons, and friends. And of course, several missteps that we have to work through.
(Why isn’t that tall boy playing basketball? What do you mean he is on the debate team? What’s he doing there?)
He’s discovering who he is as a person.
(He has a hoodie on and has suspicious intentions.)
It’s a glorious sight to see.
(Stay in your lane. Don’t challenge the status quo.)
He is a handsome masterpiece that I get to watch being chiseled into form.
(He might have more options if he didn’t talk the way he talks.)
It’s an honor to watch him grow his friendships and work so hard to accomplish his goals.
(He’s awfully friendly with all the girls.)
There’s the culmination of four years of homework, meetings, group projects, and games.
(I don’t trust him.)
I beam as he crosses the stage.
(Wow. He’s going to that university? How did he get in?)
He works through college, falls in love and I watch him step into his own.
(I am sure he’s a good guy, but not good enough for my blue-eyed girl.)
He is a joy to those who love him.
(It’s just a funny joke.)
He is strong and I can count on him.
(If I saw him coming towards me at night, of course I would be worried.)
He works so hard at his job.
(He got let go because he didn’t know his place.)
I am a proud mom.
(They are all the same.)
He will always be my baby boy.
You don’t see what I see.
You don’t even try.
You can’t see clearly through racism.
The world sees only the color of his skin and the response to him is fear and brutality.
(He reached into his pocket.)
(He should not have been in that neighborhood.)
(He fought back. If he had just cooperated, it would have gone differently.)
My boy.
The man who lives his life and makes the world a better place and you discount him, discredit him and act as though he is disposable.
Because he is black.
Your desire is to snuff him out.
Because of the color of his skin.
Your disdain is disgusting and abhorrent against people made in the image of God and yet you still believe you are defending your nation, your values, your neighborhood.
I am emboldened to be strong in spite of your grotesque excuses, jokes, and silence.
See my boy for all that he is.
See his joy, see his worth, see the impact he makes in the world, see his complete humanity.
See him.
See past what you think you know, see past the biases that enshroud your heart and mind, unlock the chains that hold you to false narratives.
My boy isn’t safe in this world.
I need you to do this work.
See my boy.
**Written with Siobhan Dunford
Mar 19, 2020 | Community, Do The Hard Thing, Encouragement |
We might be five miles apart,
next door, or 2500 miles away
from each other.
But you’re never far.
Distance can’t change
what the heart holds.
Distance can’t dilute
our determination
to care for one
another well.
We will find a way.
Distance cannot
weaken love.
It just doesn’t
have that kind of power.
Distance only makes
us ache to be more present.
This can fuel how
we show up in
our own homes
and in our communities.
Don’t hide
from what you feel –
dig deep, process your
thoughts to be able
to love and serve
those close and those
far away.
Otherwise, I am afraid
we risk not
showing up at all and
we just can’t
afford that.
#PermissionGranted
Oct 24, 2019 | Community, Do The Hard Thing, Speak up |
The greatest gift we can
give someone is
inviting them to be
fully themselves with us
and then cheering them on
as they pursue all
they are meant for.
We don’t all receive this gift.
And this is why:
We withhold
permission from
others to step
into all that they are
made for
because it will
personally cost us something.
It sure doesn’t feel great
when this happens to me.
I feel defeated
and it is that much
harder for me to
take up my space.
I don’t appreciate when someone
denies what I see in me,
or tries to keep me small.
And yet I put others through it –
the cost is too great,
and we make excuses.
And what happens then?
We are all miserable.
All of us living out lies,
all of us in the wrong.
We are either wrong for
witholding permission
or we are wrong for
waiting for it.
#PermissionGranted
