This post is a continuation of this blog post about walking to the edges and naming the gaps in our lives. If you haven’t read it you might want to read it first and then come back to this post!

In the past, my tendency was to see an edge in the distance and to do a 180 degree turn in the opposite direction. It didn’t matter if going in the other direction was taking me away from where I was supposed to be – the edge is where I am weak, and so the best plan would be to walk away. This tactic only leaves me in mediocre, frustrated that I am where I’ve always been. I’ve discovered there is another way. What I need to do is that walk to the edge, name the gap and then determine the next brave steps necessary to get from where I am to where I am meant to be. The gap is simply an opportunity for growth. This tactic can help me get unstuck and put me in motion – towards what I am meant for. 

So… I thought it might be useful to 

talk about identifying the edges.

So we can identify gaps.

So we can grow into our potential.

Identify the Gaps

Here’s some examples of pain points: 

  • the words said or left unsaid by a significant other, 
  • the non-invite, 
  • the moment where I freeze and panic because 

I don’t know what is next or what to do next,

  • when a bias is revealed, 
  • when you realize you were wrong. 

When pain hits – 

I retreat.

I go into hiding.

I am challenging myself

to sit on the edge and 

see the gap for what it is.

Is this just a painful thing 

and the best thing

I can do is walk away?

Or is this a growth opportunity

and the best thing to do

is to sit and be with the pain

and grasp what it is 

I need to learn. 

Here’s a recent pain point for me.

I’ve struggled more than 

usual with loneliness.

Recently, a friend moved away

and I left a job and

started a new job where

there’s just one employee – me.

If I don’t feel like being alone, 

I can go to a coffee shop to work

but unless I am planning

to meet someone there,

It will just be me, coffee 

and likely, a chocolate croissant.

There’s no steady co-workers 

in my line of work.

A couple of weeks ago

on a Sunday night

my husband took the kids

out to dinner so that 

I could have some 

time to myself.

As I drove to the store

to get fresh ground

Honey Roasted Peanut Butter*

a cloak of lonely settled over my heart.

It tried to take over.

It tried to keep me right where I was.

I could sense a heaviness and grief.

I decided not to hide from it

by filling the void with 

turning on the radio, or scrolling

Facebook, Instagram,

or calling a friend. 

I decided to sit with it. 

This is a growth area for me.

I sat with the pain 

and turned to the one who

made my heart.

“I am trying,” I said.

And he met me there in the pain. 

When I left the store, 

Honey Roasted Peanut Butter*

in hand, I was greeted with a

breath-taking sunset

and I couldn’t take 

my eyes off of it –

somehow my heart felt it’s 

joy and warmth. 

The sunset was my companion

on the drive home.

My heart was still raw

but I sensed I was right

where I needed to be – 

sitting on the edge, 

ready to grow.

*It deserves the capitals. Trust me. As I wrote about it I had to step away and go get a spoonful.

Is there a pain point in your life right now? Is it one you need to step to the edge and see if it might be an opportunity for growth? Go ahead and sit for a bit with it. Permission Granted.