I just finished a book that has a theme of being tethered to




each other.

The author has a beautiful way with words and is so deep.

I will reread her words and pray her prayers.

She practices being present.

I was talking to a friend tonight about the book

about how the author, Kaitlin Curtice, is so




And I said:

What if you don’t want to be where you are?

What do you do with that?

I admitted I didn’t know the answer.

When the moment is angsty and hard

and feels like a repeat of the day before

of attempting to climb the same slippery slope

and finding yourself stuck at the bottom again.

What does connected, tethered look like in that moment?

When it is a moment, a trial you would rather escape?

Is this just me?

Does anyone else feel this way?

Or maybe I am just super shallow.

Super impatient.

Incredibly weak.

Pining for a way out of the slippery icky mess.


as I sit here


I am reminded

striving produces strong.

Wading through mess makes your heart

work harder.

Makes it stronger.

Makes it rely on something other.

Forces it to pick up the habit

of choosing joy over

another serving of bitter angst.

Maybe I am just in the process of

being tethered to the right things.

Perhaps the wading through the hard

forces me to set my mind on things above

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              while I am present in the now and the not yet.

I wonder if maybe what I am connected to

is not always what I can touch and see

but also to what I desire to be my reality.

Maybe longing is a form of being tethered.

Maybe the pursuit of connection

is part of the practice of being present.

My prayer is that God would meet me here

in the not yet,

in the becoming

where my tears add to

                                                                                                                                                                                                             the slippery slope I am trying to ascend.