I just finished a book that has a theme of being tethered to
The author has a beautiful way with words and is so deep.
I will reread her words and pray her prayers.
She practices being present.
I was talking to a friend tonight about the book
about how the author, Kaitlin Curtice, is so
And I said:
What if you don’t want to be where you are?
What do you do with that?
I admitted I didn’t know the answer.
When the moment is angsty and hard
and feels like a repeat of the day before
of attempting to climb the same slippery slope
and finding yourself stuck at the bottom again.
What does connected, tethered look like in that moment?
When it is a moment, a trial you would rather escape?
Is this just me?
Does anyone else feel this way?
Or maybe I am just super shallow.
Pining for a way out of the slippery icky mess.
as I sit here
I am reminded
striving produces strong.
Wading through mess makes your heart
Makes it stronger.
Makes it rely on something other.
Forces it to pick up the habit
of choosing joy over
another serving of bitter angst.
Maybe I am just in the process of
being tethered to the right things.
Perhaps the wading through the hard
forces me to set my mind on things above
while I am present in the now and the not yet.
I wonder if maybe what I am connected to
is not always what I can touch and see
but also to what I desire to be my reality.
Maybe longing is a form of being tethered.
Maybe the pursuit of connection
is part of the practice of being present.
My prayer is that God would meet me here
in the not yet,
in the becoming
where my tears add to
the slippery slope I am trying to ascend.