They are good 

and they are bad. 

They make me move

and they paralyze me. 

They create structure

and they undo me. 

They provide order

and they inhibit spontaneity.

I need them

and I abhor them.

Some are necessary because, 

well, I am an adult with responsibilities.

The others?

Here’s what I am thinking:

If the expectation isn’t life-giving,

then its got to go. 

Whether it is an expectation

I put on myself or

one someone else 

tries to lay on me – 

If it doesn’t push me 

towards life – 

towards growth –

then I’ve got to let it go. 

This is a decision 

I have to make –

that each of us has

permission to make.

Why hold on to something 

that leads me to 


If I hold an expectation

in my hands and I feel


and say terrible things

to myself, about myself –

then the expectation is

not mine to hold.

Perhaps it belongs

to someone else

and they can decide

whether or not

it’s one they want 

to carry.



Name an expectation that you need to step into.

Name an expectation that you need to let go of.