Sometimes, as a mom,

I feel as though the trip to the grocery store, to the beach,

to pick blueberries, etc. is a colossal disaster.

For example when we picked blueberries

Here’s what I experienced:

Arguments.

I repeated myself a million times.

There were complaints about the heat.

Complaints about being hungry.

There was whining about what a sibling said or did.

I mean, sure, we walked out with a giant

bag of gorgeous fresh blueberries that we picked

but I felt as though I had

sold my soul to get them.

That’s some expensive blueberries.

And so I second-guessed the wisdom in

bringing a friend with us to experience

“Chaos in the Blueberry Patch”.

I questioned my sanity for sure.

I looked at the plump blueberries

with disdain and wondered,

“Were you even worth it?”

And then later that afternoon

my friend sent me some

pictures she had taken of

“Chaos in the Blueberry Patch”.

She is a talented photographer,

of that there’s no question,

but her camera revealed

an experience I was too stressed,

too tense,

too focused on managing

the big personalities around me

to have been able to see

what happening before my eyes.

I saw

joy, deep breath, satisfaction, fun and

I saw that we actually enjoyed ourselves.

I didn’t know that we did.

Honestly, I didn’t.

But her photographs told a different story.

A story I didn’t know was true.

Remember the polaroid photos that would

develop before your eyes?

That’s what happened for me

in my heart in this digital age.

A full picture developed before my eyes.

And so I am learning…

I need to look beyond what I feel in the moment sometimes.

Tension doesn’t have to mar my experiences.

I can choose to not allow stress or my expectations to

render moments fuzzy and void of any positive value.

I’d like to be able to train my heart to see what is developing

in the moment and to not be sidetracked and derailed

by what isn’t going right.

Because…

well, then that is all that I see.

I’d like to see beyond what my heart

believes it can experience.

I’d like to be a part of the experience

instead of managing the experience.

I’d like to train my heart to develop the

joy, love and fun first.

I want to see the whole picture.

 Searching For Kindling:

1) What are some phrases you can say to yourself to remember to see the whole picture?

One of mine is: “See past what you think and feel.”