Sometimes I don’t know what you need.

And even if I did know

I am not sure that I could be it.

You are tall and long

with big emotions

and you have a lot of words.

You push my buttons.

And I suppose I probably push yours.

And there are times that I wish

I could snuggle you and make it all okay

like I did when you were so much smaller.

It is harder to know

how to make it okay

and sometimes there isn’t really

a way to even do that.

Sometimes my heart is overwhelmed

with my love for you and my frustration with you

and how I want to be able to help you

and still be what you need

every now and then.

And then tonight happened.

You said,

“Come and lay down with me, Mommy”.

And my heart, mind and mouth said,


You lifted your spiderman blanket

so I could snuggle into

the little furnace you created.

We talked a little bit about your

test tomorrow and

I prayed for you.

Then you rolled to your tummy,

flung your arm over my tummy

and laid your head on my chest.

And then you fell asleep.

And in that moment my heart

was reminded that sometimes

you need small things from me

my patient presence,

my tickle monster,

my silly jokes,

my dance with me,

my arms to hold you while you sleep.

Thanks, baby boy for the reminder

that while I can’t be everything

you need (and I shouldn’t be)

there are some instances

where I am enough.


 Searching For Kindling

Name five small things that you do to love your children well. Think of some small moments with your kids that have filled your mama tank.