See the evidence of love.

See the evidence of love.

These pants sat in our closet next to the hamper for a couple of weeks. I assumed it was because my husband wanted them washed separately so that I didn’t put them in the dryer.

I never gave it too much thought, I figured I would get to it eventually. Eventually was today.

I picked them up today to wash them and discovered they were covered in flour and cocoa powder – from when he made my birthday cake. The pants needed to be treated with the stain stick and that is why they were set aside.

He made my birthday cake.


We misunderstand each other a lot.

Stress doesn’t bring out the best in us.

We are often in different books, let alone not on the same page.

We struggle to ‘see’ the evidence of each other’s love.

The details and burdens of daily life with home, work, three kids, a dog and a cat cloud what is present…

Obscure what is…

Seemingly negate the mundane expressions of love that are there but blend into the background of 18 years of marriage.

I sat down in the kitchen where the sun poured through the windows and held the pants.

I mean, I throughly enjoyed the cake, but I somehow missed unwrapping the gift of him making the cake for me.

But here I sit holding the pants that he wore late at night and bear the evidence of love and a commitment to celebrating my birthday.

He’s messy in the kitchen.

I’ve never been thankful for that before, but today I was.

I was hesitant to wash the pants, unwilling to get rid of this evidence, but I decided he might like to wear his pants again – sans cocoa and flour.

So I took a picture of his pants.

And then I treated the spots on the pants, just in case they were stubborn and I let the pants sit to be sure the treatment had time to work. I put them in the wash and made a mental note to be sure to not put them in the dryer…

because love is in the details,

in the mundane moments that

we sometimes forget to look for.


Permission granted to look harder than you think you should have to. Give grace and sit in the sun and relish the evidence you find.


On Grace: When It Matters Most

On Grace: When It Matters Most

When you are far away

I have more grace.

I think of all the things you do

how hard you work,

the way you give,



and support opportunities to grow.

I miss you and wish the days

away until it is the day you land

back on US soil.

And then you are home,




We are good for a few days.

And then blinders slide back over my eyes

and I see only the things that



push my buttons.

Where did grace go?

Proximity seems

to make

grace harder.

Harder to find.

Harder to give.

But of course, this is when grace matters most.

When you are close and will be home at 6 pm.