Unknowingly, I had made a declaration.

I had written it in indelible ink on the walls of my heart.

Tattooed it on my skin.

When things are hard, I can’t be soft.

I don’t know when I made it…so I don’t know how long I have been waving this banner,

but it may as well great you at the door to our home.

When you are short with me, a soft answer will not be what you get back.

A snippy text gets a hard return.

If frustration is what you are dishing out, then I can heap it right back.

Hard gets hard.

If I sense a closed door, the door to my heart will not crack. In fact, I will stuff the cracks so no light can be seen.

Hard = Hard

What other equation is there?

You and me get stuck here, at inflexible, concrete, unforgiving, with no soft place to land the disagreement.


Hard = Hard

And that is just the way it is.

If there is no giving in, my feet dig in.

If there’s no conceding the point then we are in for a long day/night/week.

And that leaves us stuck between a rock and a hard place with our teeth clenched and our hearts a conglomeration of grudge, righteous indignation and unforgiveness.

And that leaves us with

Hard + Hard = Hard

And then I saw this

And this proves my declaration wrong.

There can be soft admist hard.

Soft can grow in hard places.

Soft doesn’t need soft in order to thrive and grow.

I feel a little foolish as it seems this brave little flower has done what I cannot do.

Or at least what I can’t do on my own.

Soft in the midst of hard requires more strength than just giving back hard and

it doesn’t come from me, but through me.

Forgiveness can counter unforgiveness.

A kind word can battle with wrath – and the war fizzles out.

Soft can envelope hard and the sharp edges melt away and

we can hear each other again.

Soft + Hard = Relationship

The flower in the midst of concrete, metal and construction made a declaration to me.

Soft is strong,

Soft is beautiful,

Soft is possible in the midst of hard.