I felt inadequate by 9 pm the day of Mother’s Day and slept fitfully. I awoke to questions battling in my mind, stirring up my tummy. After a wonderful Mother’s Day I already felt like I was on half a tank, with discouragement fast devouring the rest of my reserve.
It is no accident I read this the day after Mother’s Day.
“Allow me to be blunt here. Sometimes I feel like a leaky raft. In spite of my regular attempts at solitude and self-care, I always seem in need of refilling. I seek more affection from my husband. More affirmation from my friends. More encouragement from my children. They try, honestly they do. But within moments of their filling, I feel myself leaking.”
-Michele Cushatt I Am: A 60 Day Journey To Knowing Who You Are Because Of Who He Is.
My kids, my husband, and my friends can’t be the ones to fill me up. For them to fill me up all the time would only drain their own hearts. That just isn’t how this is supposed to work. Oh we try it, we try to meet the needs of those around us – and in the process we often end up bitter and disenchanted with relationships. To seek to be filled outside of my relationship with God will result in leakage and disappointment. God knows what I need, when I need it and he doesn’t run out – his mercies are new every day. Me needing him doesn’t drain him or frustrate him. He wants us to need him. He longs to meet our needs.
Michele’s conclusion at the end of her devotional says “I want nothing more than to want Him. To open my hungry self to His filling, knowing that only in Christ can my heart be full.”
Here’s to seeking a full heart.
How will you seek to be filled by God today?
**If you are looking for a devotional to help you stay filled up, I highly recommend I AM.