My heart is for moms.
For all moms.
It aches for those who have had their children taken from them.
My heart is heavy for the mom who sits pretending to be okay
while awaiting test results for her baby.
My heart mourns with the moms who have lost babies.
My heart aches for the mom of an estranged child
who wrestles with hard questions through the long nights.
My heart fights for the mom who just needs a break already.
My heart prays for perseverance for those moms
who face a long road due to a diagnosis.
My heart longs to encourage those who mother alone.
My heart aches along with those moms who
feel unsupported and unloved.
My heart hurts for the one who has the heart of a mom
and yet her arms are empty.
My heart opens for those who have
chosen to give their children up for adoption.
My heart often asks a question with each beat: “Why”?
We have a lot of whys.
I don’t have answers for our hurts and struggles.
However, I know what our first response should be.
We need to love each other well.
Remembering that we each
carry heavy burdens.
We need to lean on God so
we can love well, with grace.
I don’t have answers but
I do know that
I can love well.
I can give the benefit of the doubt.
I can cook a meal to at least take that
off of your plate.
I can cry with you.
I can make a coffee and chocolate run.
And when my heart hurts?
I have to willing to be vulnerable and
let someone in.
We can love well.
It is here!
I have everything planned out.
I have a list of activities we will do,
adventures we will take
and a Pinterest board called ‘Summer Fun’
has a craft for each week of summer break.
I bought the supplies that we will need
before the kids got out of school.
We are ready.
Our upcoming trips are all planned out.
The kids and I have new swimsuits
that we will have on rotation since we will
be at the pool every day from 1-3pm.
The kids are signed up for 3 camps
and I have cleaning projects planned for those mornings.
The schedule for our typical summer day
hangs in the kitchen so that everyone is on the same page.
I have lunches and dinners planned out for the week
and rainy day activities listed on the back of the cupboard door.
Except that none of this is true.
Yes. You read that correctly.
Not one sentence above is true.
I simply imagined what it
might be like to be
The truth is that we are out of eggs,
it is raining and I am still determining what today will look like.
I don’t know what is for lunch or dinner.
One child has a cold.
We are not currently registered for any camps.
A Pinterest Board called ‘Summer Fun’
does not actually exist under my login…
We do however have a summer song – George Ezra’s Shotgun.
Also, we will be prepping for the release of Breakout by Kate Messner.
She is blogging about the book writing process and even has writing prompts!
If you preorder the book you can get a free poster and bookmarks.
I’m all about it.
Hubby and I are talking tonight about tennis camp and schedules tonight.
I just wanted to let you know, you know, if there are any other moms
out there taking summer as it comes that
you aren’t alone.
It’s going to be a great summer.
You are more than mom.
Your sole purpose is not dinner, redirecting,
loving, teaching, playing and laundry.
We do not exist to drive our children places,
help them with homework or make baby food.
Is it a huge part of who we are?
Is it all that we are?
So branch out, mama
and don’t apologize for it either.
Spend some time rediscovering who you are.
What are your ambitions?
There are ways of pursuing your ambitions
even in the busy phases of motherhood.
It might require late nights,
less TV and
It might require friends that hold you accountable.
Every step you take now to pursue what
God has created and placed in your heart
will set you up for the next chapter of life.
Whatever that story may be.
Write as you nurse your baby.
Go back to school.
And go ahead and just order a pizza
so you can work on your podcast.
That’s what pizza is for.
Really it is.
Run your accounting business
while the kids are at school.
Use your lunch hour at work
to learn all that you can about
what it would take to patent your invention.
It’s easy to become a motherhood martyr.
But we aren’t asked to be that.
Usually, we give in to it.
Just to be clear – I am not saying
we can have it all.
There’s sacrifices along the way –
necessary and good sacrifices –
from all parties.
Because you are worthy
and so are they.
Searching For Kindling:
What are some steps you can take to pursue the passion that God has put within your heart?
Mama, I am talking to you.
Sometimes I think you are too hard on yourself.
We’ve all got growth areas, of course
but I am talking about the beating
we give ourselves when things
stray from perfect.
I don’t need to give a bunch of examples…
you get it.
Here’s what I have to keep telling myself:
There’s always going to be a gap
between perfect and reality.
A L W A Y S.
But there are still days I give myself a verbal lashing.
Moments when I am more brutal to myself
than I would ever be to another mom.
We can be so cruel to ourselves.
When we demand perfection from
and our loved ones
we demean, frustrate and make hope and grace
I don’t want to live in a place
that is void of grace and hope.
Nothing grows there except contempt
and once it gets going its hard to weed out.
Let’s give grace
What is it that you are holding on to right now?
Where did reality enter in and
tear your expectations out by the roots?
Choose grace, mama.
Forgive those you love.
Don’t let contempt take root
and instead, remember that
there will always be a gap
between reality and perfection
and that fact…
does not make you a bad mom.
Searching For Kindling:
Where do you need to extend some grace to yourself? Go ahead, don’t be shy. We all need grace.
Sometimes I don’t know what you need.
And even if I did know
I am not sure that I could be it.
You are tall and long
with big emotions
and you have a lot of words.
You push my buttons.
And I suppose I probably push yours.
And there are times that I wish
I could snuggle you and make it all okay
like I did when you were so much smaller.
It is harder to know
how to make it okay
and sometimes there isn’t really
a way to even do that.
Sometimes my heart is overwhelmed
with my love for you and my frustration with you
and how I want to be able to help you
and still be what you need
every now and then.
And then tonight happened.
“Come and lay down with me, Mommy”.
And my heart, mind and mouth said,
You lifted your spiderman blanket
so I could snuggle into
the little furnace you created.
We talked a little bit about your
test tomorrow and
I prayed for you.
Then you rolled to your tummy,
flung your arm over my tummy
and laid your head on my chest.
And then you fell asleep.
And in that moment my heart
was reminded that sometimes
you need small things from me
my patient presence,
my tickle monster,
my silly jokes,
my dance with me,
my arms to hold you while you sleep.
Thanks, baby boy for the reminder
that while I can’t be everything
you need (and I shouldn’t be)
there are some instances
where I am enough.
Searching For Kindling
Name five small things that you do to love your children well. Think of some small moments with your kids that have filled your mama tank.
I am writing a series of posts on motherhood this week. Come back each day for a new post.
Much love to all the mamas out there!
I hugged her for an extended moment.
Trying to express my heart with my arms.
Asked how she was and
how her son was doing with the recent change in their home.
She had just given back a sweet boy whom she loved for
five months in her home.
He was abruptly returned to his
mom and grandma by the judge’s order.
To pray over him.
To love him well by sending him home with
all he needed for the next few weeks
formula, clothes, diapers and books.
She loved him well when she told his mom that she believed in her.
Little M was her baby boy for 150 days.
She didn’t hold back from this little bundle of joy.
She loved him wholeheartedly.
And because she did,
people in her community
loved little M, too.
I’ve always thought she was amazing.
Single mom to her adopted son and then
mom to her foster son for 5 months –
plus a few respite care opportunities.
She is amazing.
My awe has doubled.
with the hope
that she would send him home.
Which means she gave her everything
to someone she knew she would
have to let go of.
But she would tell you she’s definitely not
on the losing side of this.
This is motherhood.
Searching For Kindling:
How does this encourage or challenge you in your mothering?