Aug 9, 2018 | Grow, Motherhood |
We had an 18 month old when our boy-girl twins were born.
Yes, our hands were full… (everyone’s favorite thing to exclaim when they saw us coming)
No, I don’t remember a lot of that first year.
I had to divide my time up a bit to try to get time with each of them.
This was the beginning of it all.
When fairness entered the picture.
I remember a few Christmases when they were all 3, 4, 5 and a lot of times
the gifts would be in sets of 3’s.
3 toy vacuums.
3 lego sets.
3 Tag Junior reading sets.
Fairness was a thing because it made life with 3 toddlers a whole lot easier.
My dad sent me a cartoon where a mom weighed the amount ice cream she was giving each child
and told them they were exactly the same.
And then the little girl started counting the sprinkles…
When they are young, most of the time,
fairness is within your control.
You can easily level the playing field, not that you always should, but you can.
As a parent, most things are in your control.
You can set up a playdate if one kid is invited to a birthday party.
You can say that there’s more strawberries if you want more strawberries.
Everyone can go jump one more time off of the diving board!
I still count out cookies or snacks sometimes just to be able to say they are the same!!
As a parent, you have some control on making the fairness police content.
Until you don’t.
As they get older it is harder.
There’s less in your control.
A WHOLE LOT LESS.
They see unfairness in the world. It pains them.
“Why didn’t they take Kiwi’s sister to the doctor? Why did she die? That’s not right! It’s not fair!”
This was the kids’ response after touring a Compassion event for families to learn how kids live around the world.
It’s not fair.
And their response is the proper response.
The things they see should hurt their hearts.
There’s a whole lot out there not fair.
Part of this is just the kids growing up and well, maybe,
it’s me growing up, too.
It’s me comforting my kids when something out of our control
happens and we can’t fix it.
It’s me turning my focus to where true inequality exists.
It’s about seeing truth that has been covered up
and pulling off whatever disguises –
including good intentions, tradition and ignorance.
May our hearts be open and
our eyes willing to see inequality…
And not only the unfairness in our lives – that we see very clearly…
May we not be so focused on counting sprinkles that we
are blind to what is happening before us.
May our eyes be opened to even that which we do not wish
to see, understand or acknowledge.
May the unfairness we see move us to action.
Some things are within your control.
Jul 5, 2018 | Encouragement, Grow
If you are new here…
Welcome to this safe place where I invite you to pursue with me what it looks like to live as our best selves. I search for kindling to fuel joy, growth and understanding. I find kindling in the silliness of my kids, in a conversation with my sister, in a laugh with a friend, and in a brave flower flaunting its outrageous beauty. Kindling is at every turn and can be found even in the hard moments. Sometimes we have to train our eyes for it and when we find it we can use it to be our very best, yet imperfect selves. What more can anyone ask for? Let’s be perfectly, imperfect.
And…If you’ve been here before but haven’t heard of my friend Shea O’Connor – allow me to introduce you to a delightful talent.
For once, I am speechless. This organic collaboration with Shea of @designed.by.shea was an absolute joy. She shared one of the illustrations on her instagram and I decided to write a story about it. I shared it with her and she decided to draw more illustrations. SO FUN. It’s kind of like seeing your heart and mind in full-color. Nothing like it. Head over to Shea O’Connor’s instagram and hit follow to see her work. Shea was recently interviewed (read the whole article here) about her work and here’s how she describes her work.
“I create whimsical and glamorous illustrations of women. I make sure that the women I draw are a positive influence on others. I draw females from the past and present… some are well known and others aren’t (but should be). I strive to include all ages, ethnicities, and body types.”
So if you are looking for a dose of lighthearted fun, empowerment and encouragement to see the beauty in us all, well then you can’t go wrong in following the talented Shea. And if you love her work as much as I do, you might just want to visit her Etsy shop.
Jun 28, 2018 | Encouragement, Grow, Motherhood |
Sometimes, as a mom,
I feel as though the trip to the grocery store, to the beach,
to pick blueberries, etc. is a colossal disaster.
For example when we picked blueberries
Here’s what I experienced:
Arguments.
I repeated myself a million times.
There were complaints about the heat.
Complaints about being hungry.
There was whining about what a sibling said or did.
I mean, sure, we walked out with a giant
bag of gorgeous fresh blueberries that we picked
but I felt as though I had
sold my soul to get them.
That’s some expensive blueberries.
And so I second-guessed the wisdom in
bringing a friend with us to experience
“Chaos in the Blueberry Patch”.
I questioned my sanity for sure.
I looked at the plump blueberries
with disdain and wondered,
“Were you even worth it?”
And then later that afternoon
my friend sent me some
pictures she had taken of
“Chaos in the Blueberry Patch”.
She is a talented photographer,
of that there’s no question,
but her camera revealed
an experience I was too stressed,
too tense,
too focused on managing
the big personalities around me
to have been able to see
what happening before my eyes.
I saw
joy, deep breath, satisfaction, fun and
I saw that we actually enjoyed ourselves.
I didn’t know that we did.
Honestly, I didn’t.
But her photographs told a different story.
A story I didn’t know was true.
Remember the polaroid photos that would
develop before your eyes?
That’s what happened for me
in my heart in this digital age.
A full picture developed before my eyes.
And so I am learning…
I need to look beyond what I feel in the moment sometimes.
Tension doesn’t have to mar my experiences.
I can choose to not allow stress or my expectations to
render moments fuzzy and void of any positive value.
I’d like to be able to train my heart to see what is developing
in the moment and to not be sidetracked and derailed
by what isn’t going right.
Because…
well, then that is all that I see.
I’d like to see beyond what my heart
believes it can experience.
I’d like to be a part of the experience
instead of managing the experience.
I’d like to train my heart to develop the
joy, love and fun first.
I want to see the whole picture.
Searching For Kindling:
1) What are some phrases you can say to yourself to remember to see the whole picture?
One of mine is: “See past what you think and feel.”
May 10, 2018 | Encouragement, Grow, Motherhood |
You are more than mom.
Your sole purpose is not dinner, redirecting,
loving, teaching, playing and laundry.
We do not exist to drive our children places,
help them with homework or make baby food.
Is it a huge part of who we are?
Absolutely.
Is it all that we are?
No.
So branch out, mama
and don’t apologize for it either.
Spend some time rediscovering who you are.
What are your ambitions?
There are ways of pursuing your ambitions
even in the busy phases of motherhood.
It might require late nights,
less TV and
a babysitter.
It might require friends that hold you accountable.
Every step you take now to pursue what
God has created and placed in your heart
will set you up for the next chapter of life.
Whatever that story may be.
So.
Yes.
Write as you nurse your baby.
Go back to school.
And go ahead and just order a pizza
so you can work on your podcast.
That’s what pizza is for.
Really it is.
Run your accounting business
while the kids are at school.
Use your lunch hour at work
to learn all that you can about
what it would take to patent your invention.
It’s easy to become a motherhood martyr.
But we aren’t asked to be that.
Usually, we give in to it.
Just to be clear – I am not saying
we can have it all.
There’s sacrifices along the way –
necessary and good sacrifices –
from all parties.
Because you are worthy
and so are they.
Searching For Kindling:
What are some steps you can take to pursue the passion that God has put within your heart?
Apr 24, 2018 | Community, Encouragement, Grow |
***If you are visiting because you saw my post on Communicator Academy – Thanks for stopping by! Please make yourself at home here and leave a comment so we can chat!
Also! If you haven’t read the post on Kathi Lipp’s Communicator Academy, please go visit and read it here and then dive into all the great learning on her site!
People with passion should
blossom
learn
and claim their platform.
Speak and let ideas flourish.
Debate and allow words to educate.
Plan and lay the foundation for future generations.
Work and see change happen.
This is what it means to fill up the space
that you have been given.
Live your passion.
Fill this world with words of truth and life
and actions that make a difference
because they address a true need…
and not symptoms.
The world needs this kind of people.
Take-up-your-space kind of people.
I’ve been thinking about the flip side of this.
And it is this:
When people step onto their platform
and share their passion, their experience, their knowledge –
well, some of us might get our toes stepped on.
It is nothing personal, mind you –
it’sjust someone taking up their space –
claiming their platform, blossoming and educating.
And they may challenge what you’ve always thought –
what you hold to be true.
We all find ourselves in this position at times throughout our lives.
Sometimes our toes hurt.
When we find this happening,
Here’s what we each should do.
Step off your platform.
Have a seat.
Listen.
Learn.
Mar 14, 2018 | Encouragement, Faith, Grow |
I just finished a book that has a theme of being tethered to
truth
hope
earth
each other.
The author has a beautiful way with words and is so deep.
I will reread her words and pray her prayers.
She practices being present.
I was talking to a friend tonight about the book
about how the author, Kaitlin Curtice, is so
Connected
Present
Tethered.
And I said:
What if you don’t want to be where you are?
What do you do with that?
I admitted I didn’t know the answer.
When the moment is angsty and hard
and feels like a repeat of the day before
of attempting to climb the same slippery slope
and finding yourself stuck at the bottom again.
What does connected, tethered look like in that moment?
When it is a moment, a trial you would rather escape?
Is this just me?
Does anyone else feel this way?
Or maybe I am just super shallow.
Super impatient.
Incredibly weak.
Pining for a way out of the slippery icky mess.
And
as I sit here
wallowing
I am reminded
striving produces strong.
Wading through mess makes your heart
work harder.
Makes it stronger.
Makes it rely on something other.
Forces it to pick up the habit
of choosing joy over
another serving of bitter angst.
Maybe I am just in the process of
being tethered to the right things.
Perhaps the wading through the hard
forces me to set my mind on things above
while I am present in the now and the not yet.
I wonder if maybe what I am connected to
is not always what I can touch and see
but also to what I desire to be my reality.
Maybe longing is a form of being tethered.
Maybe the pursuit of connection
is part of the practice of being present.
My prayer is that God would meet me here
in the not yet,
in the becoming
where my tears add to
the slippery slope I am trying to ascend.
