Expectations: The Good and the Bad

Expectations: The Good and the Bad


They are good 

and they are bad. 

They make me move

and they paralyze me. 

They create structure

and they undo me. 

They provide order

and they inhibit spontaneity.

I need them

and I abhor them.

Some are necessary because, 

well, I am an adult with responsibilities.

The others?

Here’s what I am thinking:

If the expectation isn’t life-giving,

then its got to go. 

Whether it is an expectation

I put on myself or

one someone else 

tries to lay on me – 

If it doesn’t push me 

towards life – 

towards growth –

then I’ve got to let it go. 

This is a decision 

I have to make –

that each of us has

permission to make.

Why hold on to something 

that leads me to 


If I hold an expectation

in my hands and I feel


and say terrible things

to myself, about myself –

then the expectation is

not mine to hold.

Perhaps it belongs

to someone else

and they can decide

whether or not

it’s one they want 

to carry.



Name an expectation that you need to step into.

Name an expectation that you need to let go of.


A daily invitation

A daily invitation

Be who you are,

right where you are.


Just be me.

Its so much harder

then it seems it should be –

or than people

make it out to be.

No one else can be me,


but there is work required

for me, to be me.

I have to excavate

out from under the

expectations that have

been heaped on top of me,

I have to pursue truth

and disempower lies.

I have to give grace,

and at the same time,

challenge what

I’ve always believed.

And then,

I have to take

steps forward into

my purpose,


and passion.

I must embrace my quirks,

eradicate misguided habits,

and pursue the essence

of who I am.

Who I’ve always been.

This takes work,

daily work,

and years of work.

Be who you are,

right where you are

is not something we

fall into,

it’s not a simple accomplishment.

Instead, I believe it is

a daily invitation

to pursue what we

are made for.


What are some ways that you can pursue knowing yourself better?

  • Get to know the heart of God – he made you!
  • Take a personality quiz like Clifton Strengths.
  • Ask some friends about what they see in you.
  • Sit in who you are. What do you love? What would you like to make better?


Live Your Life: Take Up Your Space

Live Your Life: Take Up Your Space

I overheard your comments to your friend

about the woman across the room.

She, the woman you are 




wasn’t doing anything wrong. 

She said nothing wrong.

She is just living her life, 

taking up her space 

and your insecurity got in the way.

Oh, pardon me, 

I don’t mean to offend. 

Well, actually, I’m okay if I do. 

Everyone has permission

to take up their space 

and just because you 

aren’t thrilled with her choices,

her outfit, 

her boisterous personality

doesn’t mean that you can

take space from her. 

Please refrain from expressing

your insecurity this way.

PermissionGranted is for everyone.

Please recognize that if 

someone rubs you the wrong way, 

has a personality that you 

struggle to appreciate, 

wears clothing that you would

not or has the

audacity to choose

to pursue her 



and purpose…

she is simply giving herself

permission to do so,

just as you are, 

in your own way,

pursing PermissionGranted.

There’s space for all of us. 

All of our creativity, 







There’s enough room for us all.

So each of us have 

a choice to make:

take up our space –

without apology, or 

spend energy making

ourselves small by

attempting to infringe 

on another’s space.

It is kind of a 

easy choice, 

don’t you think?  

Momentum begins at the edge.

Momentum begins at the edge.

Who you are.

Who you want to be.

Where you are

Where you want to be. 

There’s some 

gaps here for me – 

and for you.

It’s just not 

something we talk


See, each of us are a


There’s not one of us

who has arrived 

and that fact should not

make us feel less than.

It should not lead us 

to question our 

worth or talent.

We all have gaps and

we should not apologize 

for their existence.

Gaps are opportunities 

for growth… 

which makes them 

a good thing. 

The gaps are supposed

to exist. 

If there was no space 


who we are now and 

who we want to be

there would be no 

motivation to grow.

We mess up 

when we 

ignore the gaps. 

But ignoring them doesn’t 

make them go away,

it just makes it 

harder to bridge them.

I can attest to that. 

I feel the dissonance 

in my bones when I 

try to ignore the gaps.

It makes me avoid the 

edges and I

get nervous 

about situations

that reveal 

my gaps to others. 

Momentum begins 

when I walk to the 

edge of a gap

and name it.

This is where growth begins.

Let’s be brave

and walk to our 

edges together.

See a gap. Name an edge. No one is listening.

How can you bridge the gap? What tools do you need? What resources? Take one step today to close the gap! Email me or comment to let me know you took a step. Let’s walk to the edges together and support each other as we close a gap. Permission Granted.